By Amy Weber, LCSW

You know those days when your kid is mid-meltdown over absolutely nothing (but also definitely something) and you’re trying to figure out if it’s hunger, boredom, sensory overload, or the gravitational pull of Mercury?

That’s where awareness comes in. It’s like having a secret decoder ring for your child’s inner world — except the ring is in your brain, and it works best when you slow down enough to actually use it.

And here’s the best part: awareness isn’t just for “perfect parents” (spoiler: those don’t exist). It’s for the real, coffee-fueled, pajama-pants-under-their-coat parents, too.

Step 1: Awareness Starts with You

Before we even talk about your child’s awareness, we have to start with yours — because your nervous system is the Wi-Fi for theirs. If yours is glitchy, theirs will be, too.

Try this:

• Name it to tame it (for yourself): “I’m feeling frazzled, so I’m going to take three deep breaths before I deal with this.”
  
  
• Check your battery: Imagine you’re a phone — are you at 80% or 2%? That matters.
  
  
• Adopt a pause phrase: “Let me think about that for a second…” buys time and sanity.
  
  

Step 2: See the Kid Behind the Behavior

Here’s the truth: behavior is a billboard for what’s going on inside. Meltdowns, sass, silence — they’re all messages in disguise.

Try this:

• Be a behavior detective: Keep a simple “what happened before” note in your phone — patterns will pop out.
  
  
• Notice the early signs: Cheeks flushing? Body getting wiggly? Voice getting louder? You’re catching the wave before it crashes.
  
  
• Switch from judge to curious scientist: Instead of “Why is he being ridiculous?” try “What might be going on for him right now?”
  
  

Step 3: Help Your Child Notice Their World

Some kids are hyper-aware (they hear the fridge hum from two rooms away), and others walk into a room like they’ve just been teleported there from another planet.

Try this:

• Play ‘I Spy’ with feelings or sounds: “I spy something that sounds happy…”
  
  
• Narrate your awareness: “I noticed it’s getting bright in here — I’m going to grab my sunglasses.”
  
  
• Preview the plan: Use pictures, schedules, or maps before new outings.
  
  

Step 4: Use Awareness to Build Connection

Awareness is not just noticing — it’s using what you notice to make life better for your child and your relationship.

Try this:

• Say what you see and how you respond: “I saw you were getting frustrated, so I offered a break.”
  
  
• End the day with ‘One Thing I Noticed’: Everyone shares one thing they noticed about themselves or each other.
  
  
• Celebrate the micro-wins: A smile, a tiny compromise, a meltdown avoided — they all count.
  
  

The Takeaway

Awareness is your backstage pass to your child’s world. It’s not about reading their mind — it’s about paying attention to the clues, to yourself, and to them. And when you do, you’re not just surviving the day — you’re building a relationship that can weather the storms and enjoy the sunshine.